I know this is much belated, but I'm glad I'm showing up and still sharing. Sometimes we have the bandwidth to write and share, and other times, we keep our ideas and thoughts on our notes app, and share belatedly once the storms in our lives have mostly passed. This is one of those times.
Here's what I learned this past summer 2022:
1. I learned that it’s okay to leave something that isn’t working anymore.
You'll know when it's time.
2. My mental and physical health are more important than any temporary setback.
3. It is important to move your body.
Emotions and traumatic memories can easily become trapped in the body if we don’t intentionally move. Even a short walk around the block is better than no walk. Walking at least 5,000 steps a day makes me happier.
4. I enjoy making matcha lattes as part of my morning routine.
I bought some matcha in March 2022 when I was trying to quit coffee and after swearing that I would never be someone who enjoys matcha (it honestly tasted like grass to me for the longest time). Fast forward to August 2022, I somehow started making matcha lattes at home with oat milk, and I was hooked. I’ve discovered that in addition to the taste of the drink, I like the ritual of making the drink. It’s so simple, but it’s something that helps me get ready for the day and brings some sense of routine to my days, which felt anything but consistent and predictable this past summer.
5. I still love Lifehouse.
Two songs I was really into this past summer were Sick Cycle Carousel and Whatever It Takes. I don’t know how I never really listened to Sick Cycle Carousel back in my angsty teen days, but I heard the song one day over the summer and was just obsessed with the melody. Spotify knows how many times I played this song on repeat; it’s almost embarrassing, but I’m not ashamed. I think I’ll always have a special place in my heart for alternative rock and pop from the early to mid 2000’s, and I’m perfectly okay with that.
6. Worrying is not my job.
No amount of worrying will directly impact the outcome, even though our brains tell us that, historically, worrying excessively usually meant that everything turned out okay. Because more often than not, the worst-case scenario in our minds does not end up happening. It’s okay to feel worried, but ultimately, it’s not a place to camp out at.
7. Moving is hard.
Give yourself a lot of grace, and then a lot more. There is no time limit for how long it takes to feel settled in.
8. Advocate for yourself.
If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. If you don’t speak up, then no one else will. But there is a way to speak up kindly and politely.
9. I make decisions that align with who I am and what I care about when I listen to both my heart and my head.
Something I decided this past summer was that I'm not ready to leave this beautiful city yet. I took the photo above on a splendid summer day, but inside I was torn. I was anything but at peace and I wasn't able to truly enjoy how beautiful the day was. I didn't know what my next steps would look like, but I knew that something in my heart and my gut was telling me to stay. Even if nothing in my life felt like it was working out and everything felt downright awful. Even if it would be a long time before I felt truly settled in my home. I wish I could go into all the detail, but some details are too painful to share.
I'm glad I leaned into both the logical reasons to move and stay, and what my heart had to say as well. It took time, but I think without that sustained effort to think things through, I might not have landed on my answer with such clarity. Sometimes, our tears have something to tell us. And it is through my own tears on that absolutely fine summer day that I felt them telling me that I have something good here, and I don't want to say goodbye to it yet.
What have you been learning lately?
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