Reflections on My Social Media Break

This year, I took a 3 month break from Instagram. I didn't originally intend to be away for that long, but for some reason, it just felt right.

The extended break gave me time and space to observe, think, introspect, and reflect. Today I want to share about what I learned during this time, and how I feel led to change my approach to social media moving forward.

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WHY I CHOSE TO TAKE A BREAK

I think that in our current moment in history, more than ever before, we are a people who are deeply obsessed with ourselves. We are hungry for approval and validation from others, mostly strangers whom we have never met. We want others to know about every single thing we do. And we feel this societal pressure to make our lives look perfect and seamless, when we know deep down inside that life is never that perfect nor seamless. 

The question I like to ask myself is: Are we actually experiencing life if we are constantly living behind and through our screens, rather than with our eyes, heart, and soul? 

This is a rhetorical question because I know the answer. Yet the pull to be on my phone or on my device is sometimes too strong, and maybe I'm already conditioned to be on my phone or to turn to my devices without even thinking for a second about what I'm trying to do. 

There's a TED talk I listened to a few years ago about the case for quitting social media. One of the speaker's points has stuck with me: social media has caused us to outsource our thinking. Think about what outsourcing means. Outsourcing is when we give work that we need to do, to someone else. It's not that we do this willingly. It's hard to think, reflect, introspect, or brainstorm when turning to the Internet is so much easier. Constantly refreshing and checking social media forces us to give up our intuition and our ability to think for ourselves. 

My questions and discomfort with the way things are now led me to consider taking a break. It was kind of like an experiment. How long could I go without logging back in? What would the effects be? Would there be any positive benefits or negative consequences of quitting social media? 

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HOW IT WENT

I've been a part of Instagram now for nearly SEVEN years. I remember the early days of over-filtering and actually posting in the "instant". When I took an extended break, it felt like part of life as I knew it, was gone. Part of me was gone. So many of my memories and big life moments were recorded on the app. Instagram had a big role in shaping my identity as a human. 

The first thing that struck me upon calling it quits on Instagram (and occasionally Facebook) was that everything was quieter. The background noise that I used to feel so normal, had disappeared. (Whatever that background noise exactly consisted of, I have no idea.)

I felt lonely at times. I felt like I was missing out. I missed memes and random things that made me laugh in the middle of a mundane Tuesday. 

I was behind the times. I didn't know what was happening in the news, aside from checking the New York Times. 

I thought more. My mind wandered more. Isn't that the wonderful yet strange paradox of social media? That in order to think, in order to concentrate, in order to tap into our full creative intuition, in order to make better decisions, in order to focus, sometimes we need to distance ourselves from the stream of information and the noise. And there, sometimes it also feels lonely. 

I stopped feeling the insane pressure to make a perfectly curated feed of images that all fit my brand. I stopped seeing the world through the lens of "what would my followers want to see on my stories or posts" and started seeing the world with my heart and soul. 

I started having experiences and memories that only I witnessed and remember. I had to wrestle with the compulsion to update the world on my daily life. At some point during the break, I started seeing through my own lens. I learned to be okay without letting others know about every little thing I did, which was, and still is the difficulty with living in our fast-paced, smartphone era in 2019.  

Most importantly - I realized how powerful Instagram is as a tool for connecting with family and friends, and especially people who live far away, or even people we've never met. 

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THE COMPROMISE

I have discovered that there will always be a compromise between complete authenticity and aestheticism, at least for me. Authenticity is one of my core values. Being real matters to me. But I see the world in a certain way, and I cannot stop seeing it in the way that I do. There's nothing wrong with having an affinity for aestheticism.

The very existence of social media, particularly a platform like Instagram, means that there will always have to be a gray area between being real and being pretty. There will always have to be a compromise. I don't just want a bunch of pretty squares. But I am also drawn to beauty and to creating art. And thus, I will have to accept the fact that on Instagram, I will not be able to be completely honest and real all the time. And maybe - that is okay. Each platform has its own quirks. I'm hoping that the compromise will be easier as time goes by, and that I will be able to share without suppressing any side of me - the artistic and the honest. 

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There are many pros and cons of social media. Despite all of the cons, I still want to be part of this community. This endeavor. I still want to share, connect, and inspire. To be inspired by others. To feel connected to other humans. To be informed about what's going on in the world.

My approach now to social media is to use the powerful tools we have with responsibility and clarity. It is time to be back with a new and refreshed mindset. We can use social media for good. It just has to be in its rightful place in the hierarchy of our lives.