8 Things I'm Learning this Fall 2022

I've decided to start sharing what I've been learning each season. I have to give credit to writer and author Emily P. Freeman for the idea. I've been a huge fan of her work and podcast for years now. Even though the prompt is simple, I've found that the practice of reflecting on and writing down what I've been learning every 90 days can be a way to see who I am becoming, amidst the hills and valleys of life. It helps me to make meaning of my experiences. There's something life-giving about thinking about our experiences in terms of what we're learning and who we're becoming. I encourage you to give it a try.  

The months don't perfectly line up with the seasons, but we're just gonna go with it. Fall 2022 covers September, October, and November. 

1. Dealing and grappling with uncertainty and the future is pretty much always anxiety-inducing and downright scary. 

It is worrying to not be able to know what the future will hold. And maybe that’s okay. We can keep on moving forward despite the uncertainty.

2. Banishing the word ‘never’ from my vocabulary is a good idea. 

A small shift in the way I talk to myself can have a big impact. The word ‘never’ sounds so final and it kills any possibility of change or hope.

photo credit: Sarah Crosby of The Mind Geek 

3. Self-sufficiency is a myth. 

You never get to where you are completely on your own. We’ve all received help and support throughout our lives from our friends, family, community, colleagues, mentors, professors - the list goes go on and on. I can’t claim that I got here on my own, as much as my brain sometimes tricks me into thinking.   

 

I have friends who genuinely want to help without expecting anything in return. That has been so humbling. It’s made me rethink my relationship with asking for and accepting help.

 

Friends have gently reminded me that it can be a blessing for others when they get the opportunity to help without receiving anything in return. I’m learning to let others help, without trying to think about what I can do for them in return. To my friends and family and church community, you know who you are. Thank you with all of my heart.

 

4. There’s nothing wrong with needing others. 

But there is a difference between codependence, independence, and a healthy interdependence. We’re social beings and it’s normal to need community, companionship, friendship, to be known, and to know others. Shoutout to Instagram for dropping these truth bombs.

5. Advocate for yourself. 

Advocate, advocate, advocate. If you don’t speak up for yourself, no one else will. You have to say something. If you don’t speak up, they’ll never know, and you won’t be closer to getting what it is that you need or want.

6. If you don’t ask, the answer will always be no. 

And if you do ask, there’s a chance the answer could be no. But that’s okay. You did the brave thing, and that’s what counts.

 

7. Everyone is fighting a hard battle that you know nothing of. 

So be kind. We’re all going through something.

photo credit: Hannah Brencher's Instagram 

 

7. Done is better than perfect. 

Always. So just get the first draft out there. Start where you are, with what you have. The world does not need perfect. It needs you to do your best and just be human. Getting the task or project done is more important than waiting until it is perfect. Perfection is an illusion and you'll never reach "perfect". 

8. I’m learning to trust my future self to face future problems. 

Obstacles and challenges that will inevitably come up down the road. After moving twice this year, I am learning that I am more resourceful, adaptable, and resilient than I thought I was. If I had known what I would have to face in advance, I never would have thought or imagined that I would be able to get through it. There’s power in trusting your future self to face future problems when they come up.